Learning My Lesson, Keeping Close to the Lord!


We all have those moments where we somehow got out of the saddle and we don’t know when it happened. This happened to me a few weeks ago, but it goes back a year when the Lord showed me that I would get dehydrated and I would be miserable. If I heeded the Lord’s warning I wouldn’t have gotten so sick and allowed myself to get away from the Lord. I did try to drink more but I believe my ego/pride got in the way thinking I could handle it. The Lord didn’t need to worry about it. He doesn’t worry. I’m literally laughing my guts out now realizing our ridiculous that sounds.  God is not a worrier and He allows us to be stubborn and learn the hard way. Well, I’ve learned my lesson. I also believe God threw an extra lesson in there along with others. I have a problem with low salt and my doctor has been keeping a watch over it. A few years ago I went in for my annual checkup and my doctor told me that I needed to watch my salt, I thought she was going to say that my salt was too high, never thought salt could get low, but how ignorant was I, and she said if it gets any lower I could have problems. Thanks to God the past two years it’s been right on the borderline. So when I was dehydrated I also was low on my sodium.  God used the information that scared me to death to help me to realize I have to make sure that I am putting a little extra salt, which is still hard because everything already has salt and I don’t feel the need to put more on it, on my food.

I will tell you this, everything that could happen, happened. I am in a position where it’s hard to call off, especially when you are short staffed.  My boss was on vacation when my health went down and it was just me and another manager. I felt bad because I didn’t want to disturb my boss on vacation because he is a hard worker and he deserved that break. So God helped me to get through. Then the night before my boss returns the other person decides to quit and now it’s just my boss and I handling the store. I’m so grateful that I’m not the old me. I would have wanted to quit and give up. I had happened to pray to God for another person who would be a hard worker before this happened and also after the fact, asked my ladies bible group to pray and that same week God answered our prayers. Praise the Lord!

So how did I fall off the saddle? I was so tired of everything that was going on that I wanted to just sleep. I just felt like all  I was doing was working and sleeping. I did make an effort to go study like I usually do but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t concentrate and focus my mind on the Lord as I needed to. It was really hard. I recall one day when I was awake and alert and this was after I went to the hospital to get fluids in me, that it felt like an eternity without Him, that I was actually able to have a full conversation with God. Slowly I started to get my mind refocused on the Lord. I noticed things I hadn’t in a long time. I realized that when my mind is focused on the Lord, the more I get stronger in Him. I am a lot more alert and nothing rarely bugs me. I realize as I was studying and reading His word and the books that He put in front of me the more I realized that was a means of fighting the devil. I’ve never fully realized how important it is to be with the Lord on a daily basis. I’ve restarted to ask the Lord to come to work with me and show me what I am missing. God’s given me this new life so that I may be happy and feel safe even when it isn’t always safe. I know this because as I am obedient He protects me and gets me through each situation that arises. He doesn’t always protect me because it might teach me something valuable. I know that I can stop following Him at any time, but I am not going to do that because He can’t protect me if I am following the world. I must be obedient and that is my goal each day, is to be obedient to His Word. I want to because of everything that He does for me. And even if He doesn’t protect me, I know that it’s time for me to go home. So I am staying close to Him even more because through this season I am learning that I need Him every moment of every day and that I can’t do this life alone. He’s given me a free will, and I choose to follow His will, freely. Not because He forced me to. He didn’t. He has shown me a life that is full and has no holes if I follow Him. Of course, I am human and still have faults, but He always gets me through each one. Just like He got me through this season.

I just realized that I opened myself to things that I haven’t experienced in a long time and that was the desire of sin. I fought that urge but I totally forgot how you can slip at any time, (If you’re not paying attention) no matter where you are with the Lord. I believe the difference is how far you are with the Lord, and how quickly you come back to Him. I’m so grateful to have a loving God who is so quick to forgive us when we go astray, even if it isn’t long. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah.  Be blessed.


June 27, 2019

As I was going to bed last night, after going to an amazing concert, I had so much on my mind. It wasn’t the normal nonsense that usually clouds my mind. It was something God was doing in me. Of how far He has brought me. He also put this in my mind and I asked God to remind me of this. I felt the Holy Spirit really deep inside of me but me being human didn’t want to get up and write what God put on my heart. And of course, when I woke up, I had no clue what it was until I was in my little closet with God. Again God has put ‘focus’ on my mind and something God showed me when I was nineteen years old. I didn’t understand it then but I am starting to get it even more and this is almost sixteen years later.

I was in my car and I was playing with the radio. I couldn’t find a station I liked or the songs that I listen to. To tell you the truth I wasn’t really listening to the words so how did I know that I didn’t like them or if they were lifting me up? I was getting frustrated and agitated. Out of the blue God spoke this to me. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” and that just shocked me. There was no one else in the car and I hadn’t heard His voice since I was eight. I dismissed it because I didn’t understand it or like what I heard. Just thinking about that made me realize how we do this on a daily basis. We like what we like. I see it at the church with how people are sometimes quick to say they don’t like it when they don’t even give it a chance.  Like me, I was putting my effort into what I liked and dissed anything that I didn’t understand or like. I didn’t give the music a chance. We also have a habit of saying it’s not from God or we can’t feel the Holy Spirit in it. But if we aren’t really listening or paying attention to what God is trying to say through the music you’re going to miss out on a load of stuff that God wants us to experience. We are habit forming creatures and if something is different, it has to be bad, when God wants to open a whole new world for us. I know this to be true because God has opened my eyes to what I couldn’t see. Just because I thought it wasn’t of God didn’t make it true. I was so focused on me that I failed to see anything but what I wanted. This reminds me of the verse where it says to renew your mind. Like I heard last night, reboot your system. I will tell you I had to unlearn and reboot and renew my mind over and over and the Holy Spirit showed me things that were very uncomfortable. The truth about myself. I don’t know how many times my ego or pride got bruised, but it’s more than I can count.

My focus was on me trying to control everything and everyone.  There were so many factors to why I was so critical to everything God did.  I really had to do a lot of cleaning house. I didn’t realize that there was a part of me that was still against God. I didn’t have a clue that I was because I was focused on what everybody else had to say. It didn’t dawn on me that there could be something wrong with me and what I was thinking.  I realize that God is doing something and we can’t always see or understand it. He uses old hymns, old songs, and new songs. I realize as I am getting to know God, I am learning that He isn’t like us. His love is more genuine and real and when you get to know Him, Your world just changes. You want to learn something that is outside yourself. It’s amazing when you give God a chance.

I still have a hard time but I always make myself listen to whatever I am being critical to and focus on Jesus showing me what He wants through the songs. God always outdoes Himself when you put your whole self in it. Not just when you like what God’s doing. You have to be open to what you don’t like, even when God is convicting us of something we are doing that is hurting ourselves and others. I realize when we have a critical spirit we are not just hurting ourselves but others around us. I didn’t believe I could do this, but the more I spend time and experience times when I do hurt people I realize that this is true.

Also, I had a time where God told me to mind my business and that He will run the church the way He sees fit. “Ouch” Boy was He right on. I have learned to mind my P’s and Q’s. I now don’t allow myself to have an opinion on how the church is run and I am so much happier allowing God to be in control. I just pray about what I disagree on and allow God to show me what He is doing. I realize now that there’s a process that this church is going through to where God wants it to go and I don’t want to interfere with His plans. I know that He will put me in line again and for good reason. He is in control and always will be.

Before I get off here to go to work this is what I got from the Lord. ‘We get what we Focus on’ So true but this is another blog altogether. Be blessed.

Control Part 2

Here are ways to deal with Control

  • Pray- Always bring your troubles to the Lord. He will listen to you and deal with the issue. Pray for those who persecute you and for your enemies. (I’ve seen this first hand. I’ve seen God convict a person and how people get defensive to the truth. They don’t get defensive with lies, they try to make the lie into truth and this will not work because the truth always wins!)
  • Worship- No matter what you are feeling, worship God because He is for you and not against you.  He has a solution. This is our weapon against the enemy. All the first three is how we get past our circumstances.
  • Praise- Praise God for what He has done. Praise Him for what He’s doing and going to do in your life.
  • Gratitude- Be thankful for what you have. Thank God for breath and what He shows you. Make yourself do what you don’t want to do because Jesus did more than you can ever imagine. (This is hard at first but as you practice being thankful you will start to feel grateful for what you have. I know that this is true because I am more thankful than I ever was!)
  • Surrender – This is a hard one because some people might think that I’m telling them to give up and that is not what I am saying. I’m saying to surrender your life to Jesus. Pick up your cross and follow Him. Which are His ways. That means give Jesus your problems and allow Him to deal with it the way He chooses. Give up your control and take on His yoke which is far lighter than yours. Give up your ways. Let God be God. Surrender your will to God and want His will for your life. As you learn to trust God, you will see amazing things happen. Don’t give up when you can’t see what God is doing. He is always working on your behalf. He goes on His timing and not ours.
  • Work out your own salvation- What I have learned is I can’t control anybody and make them do the right thing. God gave them free will, just like He gave us free will. We must work on ourselves and show who lives inside of us. Jesus. If we have a controlling problem we must ask God to help us to get past this. So we can only control our reaction. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but this is okay, we learn when we make mistakes and God doesn’t hold this against us. When we are walking away from sin and wanting God’s will for our lives the more we will experience God’s love for us and that everything He does is for our own good.
  • Have the Holy Spirit- If you don’t have the Holy Spirit I suggest that you ask God for Him and receive Him. He is our comforter and guider into all truth. He will guide you and lead you to where God wants you to go.
  • Salvation- If you are reading this and aren’t saved and you realize that you are a sinner and you want to repent then receive Jesus where you are. Ask Him to come into your life and ask Him to forgive you for your sins. There is only one way to be saved and this is Jesus. Any other way Jesus calls them a thief.  (“Jesus, I realize that I am a sinner and I need a Savior. I ask that You forgive me all of my sins and that You be Lord of my life. Help me to pick up my cross and follow You.  I receive Your forgiveness and I forgive myself for the choices I’ve made that wasn’t of You. I am born again. The old me is gone. I am a child of God. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.) If You prayed this prayer, whether in your own words, welcome to the family. Now, the next thing to do is find a good church, which goes by the Bible and not the world and be baptized.
  •  Be in the Word of God- Don’t just read the Word. Study the Word. Talk to God and ask Him to reveal Himself in His Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to His truth. Ask for revelation and understanding of His Word.
  • Have a Relationship- The most important is that You have a relationship with God and this is through Jesus. Talk to Him, tell Him what’s on your heart. Make time to spend time with Him whenever you can. I have learned to do this throughout the day. It’s hard at first because you have to get you out of the picture and make it all about God. Sadly many believers don’t know Jesus, just of Jesus. They don’t take the time to know Him. If you happen to be one it’s not too late to start seeking the Lord.
  • Be You-This was hard for me because I was always rejected by other people who wanted me to be them. God wants you to be you. He didn’t create you to be someone else. If you are a woman then He didn’t create you to be a man. You are unique and one of a kind and same goes for a man.  He will not reject you if you don’t do something He doesn’t like. He will correct you because He loves you. But He comes to our level and as we get more open because God allows us to be ourselves,  we will want to change our minds.
  • Stop Complaining- The more you focus on the problem the more the problem will not go away. We must declare what God says about us and learn to know who we are in Christ. The more we focus on the solution, in time, we will start to see the results. Think about it this way you don’t like it when people are complaining to you about things that aren’t even important. So, why do we think that people like it when we complain. If you want the problem to go away, you must want the solution, and that’s Jesus. So focus on who Jesus is and allow Him to show you a better way to get through the problem.
  • Stay away from poisonous people- I’ve heard people say that family is the most important, but sometimes when they are hindering and poisonous to your growth, you need to get away from them. Sometimes people just don’t understand what you’ve gone through, but Jesus does. He’s experienced it all. I’m not saying to just not seeing them but limit the time you spend with them.  Sometimes you have to love people afar. God will tell you if you need to say goodbye for good. He knows all things and that includes people. He knows everything we think and do before we even do or think it.
  • Be around positive People- I’ve been experiencing growth because I put myself around people who genuinely care.  Don’t get me wrong, they are human and make mistakes but when you see things the way God sees things, your world changes!
  • Actions Speak Louder than words-Words are just that, words. If there are no actions put into what we are saying then it means nothing to those around us. We must be displaying what we preach. Don’t be someone who acts one way at home and another outside. I used to be full of hot gas, now I’m full of the Holy Spirit. My actions speak louder than what I say. I do as I say and am working on being a Jesus follower.
  • Let Jesus Fight Your Battles- The Battle belongs to the Lord. We cannot make people treat us the way we want. Only God can convince them that they need to change. Just follow Jesus and obey Him, even when you don’t see the results.  Take it from someone who has seen her marriage grow from abuse to someone who’s becoming more godly. I didn’t think anything I did was working, but it did and still is. Keep pushing forward.
  • Want Good for those who hurt you- I used to want revenge for those who hurt me and wanted God to do something about it. My way. But I have learned God doesn’t allow anyone to sit on His throne. He doesn’t do things our way.  He is the only one who knows Justice. So want good for those who hurt you because you will reap what you sow. (This is hard because it can seem unfair but when we are so focused on what others are doing we can’t see how we hurt others. I hurt a lot of people and in the end, I deserved as much as the people who hurt me. But by God’s grace as I seek His will I see more grace and mercy when I fall.                                                    We must not sink down to that level. God warns us to keep doing good and to not pay evil for evil. We must live by God’s way, not mans.)
  • Forgive those who hurt you- God warns us if we do not forgive others their transgressions then He will not forgive us.  (This means we realized that we ourselves hurt others and if we don’t forgive we don’t deserve forgiveness either.) God doesn’t want us to hold a grudge because that causes a root of bitterness and then you just start poisoning yourself. I used to think that if I forgave them they would get away with what they are doing. This isn’t true. You are doing yourself a favor so that person won’t have control over you and it’s really healing to forgive those who hurt you. God will deal with them in His own way and timing. They’re not getting away with anything.
  • Focus on where you want to go- If you want to be stronger in the Lord you must stop focusing on the past and what others have done to you. Focus on what you do want. Focus on who Jesus is and how He would want you to treat others. It does seem unfair at first but if we think about it we want someone to treat us better even if we were unkind to them.  If you focus on what people aren’t doing you will continue to get what you don’t want, but if you focus on what people are doing right you will see more of what you do want. (I get this at work all the time with employees. They get too focused on what other people are not doing that they don’t realize that if they would focus their mind on what their not doing they would start changing the way they think. They would start to see what I see and that’s through Jesus’s eyes.)

I couldn’t have done all this without Jesus. I didn’t do this by myself. I can only give the credit to Him. He is the One who taught me what I know. I’m not smart enough to have done this myself. God gave me the smarts but it’s so I can follow Him. I wasn’t smart until I started following Jesus. When I wasn’t I had no clue what I was doing. I didn’t understand the Bible and I defended the wrong things. The sad part was I thought I was doing the right thing. Looking back  I realize that God is love and He would never have done or said things that I did. His ways are pure and good. Ours aren’t. They are evil. They come from evil desires and a love to sin. God is not cruel or hateful. He loves the sin but He hates the sin. There is such a difference than what people realize. There is no evil in God. Our ways aren’t God’s. We don’t think like God or feel like God. We don’t have the compassion that God has. This is why we need Jesus so we can have these things. I have more compassion for people then when I wasn’t following Jesus. God is good control and I rather be controlled by God then what is evil.  He doesn’t control our lives unless we allow Him too. This is different. The bad control is when people try to force you to do something or believe something you don’t want to. Good control is when we allow God to direct our steps. So far God hasn’t lead me where I didn’t want to go and He has continued to surprise me every day. Of course, we can get off course but I realize more than ever I can get back on course and so can you. Be blessed.

An Amazing Experience!

God is in control. Ever since I let God have control I’ve experienced some amazing things. My faith is growing like wildfire. The more I spend time with God the more I grow. So when I boast, it’s of the Lord. Not me. I’ve made the effort but it’s God who has done the change in me. I will tell you that I think about the Lord more often then I used to. I find myself automatically reaching for Him in good times and bad times. I realize that when I am resting in the Lord the more I have the strength to do what God has me to do.  The safer I am because even if I were to die now I know where I am going. 

I have to tell you of the love that I am experiencing and it isn’t just for the Lord, but people themselves. I can now see why God loves us even though we don’t deserve it and haven’t earned love. Love is who He is. I am experiencing the difference between human love and God’s love. When someone has a relationship with Jesus you can see it even when they make a mistake. God says that You will know His disciples by their fruit. He didn’t say by good works but by our actions. I am learning to act on my faith and it has gotten me farther than just talking the talk. 

I didn’t realize this until after the fact but God was taking me through a hard time last week. I was sore, hurting, and tired. I felt that I wasn’t as close as I usually am to the Lord and I know that some know what I am talking about. But He was there the whole time. I felt the urge to keep fighting and pressing through. I was just so fed up of what God was showing me about humankind. There were times I didn’t want to deal with all the attitudes that come with being human. I finally asked God to help me to love these people even more and sure enough, that is just what He did. When Sunday came along I felt refreshed. When I walked into those doors my whole demeanor changed. I realized that I just need to continue to change my mindset and realize that people are people and like me, they have faults but it doesn’t mean they get away with it. I was fed up with all the excuses people make to stay the way they are.  I’ve finally started to use my music to get my mind off of this and onto Jesus.  I’m glad that God is helping me to see what I need to fix. I’ve stopped trying to fix people and focus on more of what I need to do to change my attitude. I continue to fight the urge to complain and continue to be positive.

I was at work and I asked my fellow believer how God puts up with us. We get so ignorant and arrogant. I know that it has to be love. To have someone who is mightier than us, who created us, love us this much is just so overwhelming. A lot of people don’t fully know the love that God truly has for them. I know that I’ve only hit the service of it but it is so amazing.

I have a Pastor who preaches the Word and tells it like it is and I didn’t expect what he said to come to my mind at a situation I was in. He said, “I know that I can’t force someone to come for the ride, but until they learn their lesson and come to their senses then I will get back together.”  I didn’t know this person but they had one opinion and I had the other. Someone posted something that God is against and there were those who stood up and those who were trying to make something that was wrong right. I am learning to be wise when replying because when they look back I want them to realize how much God loved them even where they’re at. I am thankful that this accord because it is helping me realize that when God shows me something He proves it by someone’s reaction to the truth. People get upset at the truth, not the other way around and they haven’t figured it out yet.

I am so thankful to God for helping me to come where I am at. I am bolder and less insecure. I get less threatened by others opinion and have learned I am allowed to have mine. I’ve learned to pick my battles and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have learned it’s better to go with the leading of the Holy Spirit and not myself. I don’t always get it right and I’m so good with that because I find when I’m more open to God I am more willing to do what He wants. I’ve learned a lot from people, believers, and unbelievers. I realize that God does use unbelievers, but they are unaware. They think it’s them. God is just so amazing that I could go on and on. But be blessed and thanks for reading my blogs.

Control! (Bad Control) Part 1

The one thing about this topic can be very hard for me because I know that it can be hard to hear. But I’ve realized that I would rather hear the truth than lies. So bare with me because this is difficult for me but not as it was before. Thank You, Jesus!

I will tell you that I didn’t know that I was being controlled and down deep I knew something was off but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t realize that control is a spirit and her name is Jezebel.  She can linger in anyone she chooses. Doesn’t matter what age or religion you are. I feel the need to address this spirit because of what I went through and what I am going through right now.

People who are controlled sometimes feel like it’s in their heads and I was one of them. The controller said it was so I thought it to be true. I couldn’t recognize when someone was controlling and when someone was not. It took me a long time to realize I couldn’t do this in my own strength because the more insecure and insignificant I felt. For a long time control had a hold of me and fear came for the ride. Fear blocked me from seeing the truth. I couldn’t make rash decisions because of fear of rejection if I didn’t do what my parents/people wanted. I realize if it wasn’t for Jesus sending the Holy Spirit down to help and guide me in the truth than I wouldn’t be where I am today.

People who are controllers don’t see or believe that they are. When you confront them they don’t even consider that they could be doing this. They are quick and defensive with their responses. The devil has them convinced that they are doing what God wants or if they aren’t believers they feel justified in their actions for whatever reason. I know that this is a learned habit and they can get it from families, outside influences, etc.  I learned this from my parents and it was passed down to me probably from my parent’s families and so on. What I didn’t know was I could break that cycle of control and start learning to find good control. Which comes from God. I had to surrender that bad control to God in order to see healing and results of choosing a different path. I had to be willing to give up what was hurting me.

I’ve learned that I had people praying for me. Known and unknown. I am grateful that they went with what God wanted and not what they wanted.

I also know that for believers who are controlling can still love the Lord but not see that they also have the Saul spirit. Saul loved God but he persecuted Christians. I just want to get this straight when believers are doing something it doesn’t mean they don’t love the Lord. I made this mistake because of what I was going through and it didn’t seem like they loved the Lord but this isn’t true. Sometimes we fall into the trap that satan lays out for us. He is always trying to find an open door.

Here are ways to recognize when someone is controlling:

  • Manipulative
  • They criticize everything, from Pastors, to how things are run, etc.
  • They want things their way and find any fault they can
  • When you bring up the issue they will say everything they can to turn it back on you. They will say that you are sinning, etc.  Rebellion. (I literally just had that said to me this past year when I confronted the issue.)
  • If you are young like I am they will hold their age against you.
  • If they give you something they have conditions and hold it over your head.
  • They act like you’re the bad guy.
  • They reject you if you don’t agree with them
  • You have to do everything they say
  • They give you unconditional love.
  • The newest one for me is throwing a temper-tantrum. (I’ve done that but to have it done to you is so much different)
  • They are in denial
  • They believe satan can’t touch them because they are anointed,  (God warns us in His Word to resist the devil and he has to flee. (See James 4:7 ) The devil doesn’t have to bug people who don’t believe in God or His son Jesus, they are already doing what he wants them to.)
  • They make you feel like you can’t do anything right
  • When you buy something big or small they make you feel like you can’t make a good choice. They question everything you do.
  • They don’t allow you to make mistakes.
  • If you are married they will get in your marriage and ask personal questions that aren’t any of their business.
  • You have to walk on glass around them. You can’t tell them the truth or they will blow up at you.
  • They speak their mind but won’t allow you to speak yours.
  • There are more and if God is willing I will add it.

The second part will discuss how to handle Control. Be blessed.

Focusing on Jesus!

What do we put our focus on? There are so many things that are taking our attention off of God. We put them on idles such as cell phones, people, places, wrong things, etc. There are so many things that get our attention off of God. One of the things that have got my attention is this, on this topic, is what we put our focus on we will get. Whether good or bad. The more you focus on the wrong, the more wrong you’re going to see. The more you focus on the right thing the more you’re going to see the right thing. I’ve experienced this first hand and like you, it’s no fun. I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me. Some were out of my control, but God has and continues to make good out of these. God tells us to focus on Jesus and not our circumstances. He knows what He’s doing and knows how things are going to turn out.
Sometimes in situations, we want to just give up because it becomes hard and if you have grown in the Lord like I am on a daily basis you know that these are to teach us to rely on the Lord for guidance. We don’t always get the solution right off the bat, but God always proves He is trustworthy. He knows when everything needs to come into place. I know that I get my focus off of Jesus at times but it’s awesome how God can get me right back on the narrow path. If you are attuned to God like I am more and more, I am quicker to get back on board. Sometimes beating myself upside the head. But we don’t have to do this. God doesn’t want us to beat ourselves upside the head. He knows that we can get distracted from all the crazy things that are happening and it’s not like we don’t have help. The devil is roaming around waiting to kill, steal, and destroy us. He’s always looking for an opening to get in. Some believers don’t realize that the devil can still use believers. We aren’t exempt just because we are saved. I’ve learned this the hard way. I’ve allowed the enemy to deceive me and throw me off course, but thank God I serve a mighty God. How about you? Do you serve a mighty God? God wouldn’t tell us to resist the devil if we were exempt. The devil is trying to take as many with him as he can. He wants us to slide backward so that we will walk away from God. The devil doesn’t have to do this with the world because they are already in his control. I see it every day and now it just saddens my heart and makes me want to pray even more.

I have to tell you this, we had a baptism Sunday and the devil was really at work and I wasn’t paying attention. I was asked to turn the water on and so that the baptismal would be ready by service. When I turned the water on water literally started coming out of the wall. I turned it off and thought what do I do? I called my pastor and as I was calling I got in my spirit to try and fill the tub with the hose from outside. At first, I thought Pastor wouldn’t go for that. So at first when I called they were going to cancel it, but to find out this was the last Sunday this guy was going to be here. He lives up north. So Pastor calls someone else and told them to get the hose and see if it would reach. Thank God that it did. That was a confirmation and I realize that I could have just put the hose in and if they didn’t want it I would have put it away. Anyway, the devil does use believers because they were at me and I just said I was going to do whatever it takes to get this filled up and I didn’t even think about it. This made me think, Jesus did this for me. If I was the only one who wanted to be saved He would have died just for me. Now that’s a thought. How much love He has for us. I also realize there is always a solution and in this case, it was a hose. Praise the Lord that He had someone there who ended up fixing the fawcett. Praise the Lord. I realize my focus was to get the baptism pool ready for whoever wanted it. It didn’t matter how hard it looked or even if it was for one person. It was worth it!  God is able and He made a way where there seemed no way. God is good.

I used to put so much focus on my problems and everybody else’s faults but when I put all my focus on Jesus, something started to change, slowly at first, because it felt like nothing was happening, until now where I’ve grown so much that I can’t stop being amazed at how far God has gotten me. I am boasting about God, not myself because I had nothing to do with the change. Yes, I made the effort to change, but it was God who has done the work. I can’t boast in myself because I can’t change myself. I can only allow God to take out anything that is evil out of me. God has given me a love that I never thought was possible. I see things a lot clearer and as I continue to strive to get even better I know God will change me from glory to glory. I am not the person I used to be and I have witnesses that would agree with me. My pastor has known me for almost six years and I am so grateful that God has put someone in my life who will tell me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it.

I’ve realized that when I get upset over something it doesn’t make it untrue it means that God wants me to work on whatever is upsetting me. He has done this with my job. I’m doing things that my family told me I would never do because I wasn’t smart enough and look at where God has brought me. I am not dumb as they supposed and I praise the Lord for showing me this. I put too much focus on what my family and friends said that I allowed that to hinder my relationship with God. Now I am learning to keep my focus and keep getting back up no matter how hard it may get, for God is with me, and He’s never left me or forsaken me. He helps me to get where I need to be. He helps me to focus and do what I couldn’t do before. I love my family but I love God more. I say this because God has my best interest at heart and doesn’t pull me down just because what I think doesn’t line up with what His Word says. My thoughts do line up more; but when I was my old me most of what I thought didn’t line up and I believed everything people said, which confused me in the end because how can two people be right. One can be wrong and one can be right. This is why I surrendered to God. I was done being insecure and putting my focus on the wrong things. God has been cleansing me and my life. I hang around people who are positive but can still make mistakes, and lift me up. Like my Pastor said, “I don’t have to get in the car with the devil.” So I am planning on just walking away from poisonous people. God bless you and thanks for having a willing spirit. I praise the Lord for you.

Only One for me!

I’ve come so close to Jesus that I’ve realized that He is the Only One that I want to follow.  He’s the only one and only God there is, some just haven’t realized that yet. I’ve realized that when I followed my flesh and man, my world was in chaos. My world is coming upright again. I’ve put so much energy into the wrong things that I didn’t even realize how the choices I made on a daily basis was causing me harm. I couldn’t see it or feel it and when I did I didn’t connect what was happening to the choices I’ve made.  I was also very frustrated because I thought my way was better than God’s but I’ve found out the hard way that my way never worked. When something worked out it was because of God. At the time I thought what I was doing was working but in the end, my fruit was poisonous and not good.  I was being god and serving others gods and I can’t be of the world and of God. It’s one or the other. So I choose the only living God. 

Oh, the joy I have because of deciding to follow Jesus and sacrificing anything that isn’t of God. I have more peace because of what Jesus did for me on the cross. He died for my sins so that I could have life. I don’t want to live in death anymore.  I’ve got the strength that I never had before. I don’t have strength without Jesus. I used to strive for the wrong things but now as I continue to be open to His truth the freer I get. Jesus said the truth will set you free and I believe that because I have experienced that. The glory goes to God because if it wasn’t for what He’s doing and did in my life, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  God has changed my heart and that is through His Son. It’s a privilege to serve someone who truly loves me for me. He came to where I was and brought me out of the darkness and into the light. And even though I fail Him daily, I know without a doubt that He still loves me unconditionally.

The world tries to convert me back to my old ways but they don’t realize the God I serve. They don’t realize that I’ve found something worth more than gold, silver, money, etc. I’ve found a healthier way to live.  My God is bigger and mightier. He gives me the strength to stand against the devil  I have power because God gave me that power to stand against the enemy and do what I couldn’t do before. It is only through His strength that I can stand, not mine. My life has more meaning than when I was of the world and serving myself.  I’m a new creation thanks to Jesus.

I’ve come to realize that it’s better to do good and please God and not man. I’ve learned when you try to please man, you won’t please them and this is because of greed. This world is very selfish. Take it from someone who was a selfish person and still has to fight to keep that old person down. I want to love others because God loved me even when I didn’t deserve. I deserve to get what’s coming to me but God made a way for those who truly follow Him.  I can’t please everyone and that’s okay. It doesn’t bug me as much as it did before. I’m not supposed to please everybody. I’ve come across over and over again believers who allowed God to change their hearts and mindsets and this still amazes me. I don’t know why, but I know that it’s amazing to see God work in the most stubborn of hearts and see people literally come to life before your eyes.

My eyes and my heart are more open to God because I’ve experienced His love for me.  He has done so much for me growing up and making good what the devil meant for evil. I now have a testimony of what God did for me. He’s turned my mess into a message and He continues each and every day.  God has/is teaching me so much and a lot of it was outside my thinking. Thanks to God. I have changed so much and my family doesn’t recognize this. They are baffled because I don’t act the way I used to be. I used to be insecure and believed what people wanted, but now, I have my own mind and faith and I am sticking to it. I can think for myself. I’m leaning on the Holy Spirit to show me the way. My God is able. There is nothing God can’t do. There is no evil in Him. He can do no wrong. He is love. That is just who He is. He’s never backstabbed me or made fun of me. He’s for me and not against me. He doesn’t give us anything that will hurt me. I’ve done a good job on that, but my God helps me get out of my messes by going through it. He doesn’t leave me alone He guides me every step of the way and when I don’t feel Him moving I keep doing what He has shown me to do. When I am following Him and I’ve messed up but He helps me to learn and go through it. I’ve done pretty stupid stuff but my God is gracious enough to forgive me. I’m just grateful that I can repent when I fall in sin and get up and go at it again. God sees my heart and knows that I am fixing my eyes on Jesus and when I mess up He doesn’t hold that against me. God is so much more than I can put on this blog but I’m sticking with the winning side and that’s Jesus. He is the only One for me.

(Thank You, Jesus, for putting me right with Father. For dying on that cross to give me eternal life. Thank You for being a great example to me and those around me. Thank You for changing my heart and teaching me what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. I don’t always see but I know that You will open my eyes at the right time. I ask that You use my testimony to touch any heart who has walked away from You or just doesn’t get it what it means to be saved. And those who aren’t saved.  I ask that You open their hearts and minds to Your Word. Bring salvation to those who aren’t saved. Thank You for those who are saved. Bless them and protect them from the evil one and from themselves. Thank You for protecting and saving me from myself and from Satan. Only You can save Jesus, and only You can change hearts. I thank You for my family in Christ and my family. I ask in the name of Jesus that Your will be done in this blog. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.)